Becoming an Adult

« Back

As teenagers, we've got a whole lot going on. School is becoming less about fun and more about work, and it can seem like, all of a sudden, we have a whole lot more pressure on us at home, at school, with our friends and just about everywhere. We might feel pressure to succeed in school, or sport, or we might feel pressure to live up to our parents expectations. And then there are the pressures we put on ourselves, like wanting to wear the latest jeans or be cool when talking with our friends or look hot when we see someone we like. And this all comes at a time when we're maturing and discovering new things about ourselves. There are so many stresses during this period of our lives! Read on if you'd like to learn how to best cope with all these changes.

Because we are all mysteriously different, with different genetic makeup, we begin our journey to adulthood at different times – we can start at nine years old or sixteen years old, both are perfectly natural. It just means that each of us is different and we're doing it in our own, unique and natural way. No matter when we start, the journey will take about seven years, and trust me… it gets easier as it passes.

What happens is that somewhere between the age of nine and sixteen, our brain runs an imaginary tap measure over our body and if it's ready it sends a signal to our pituitary gland (above the roof of our mouth) and tells it to release hormones. Hormones are chemical messengers that make things happen in the body. They travel in our blood to sex organs and start another hormone producing cycle. Guys manufacture testosterone and girls manufacture oestrogen and progesterone. This is when it starts to get extremely tiring… because we start to change physically, and this means we need extra sleep, healthy food (vitamins and minerals) and regular exercise which all work together to help us grow to our full potential. Guys start growing taller, larger and more muscular, and the voice drops (and something else drops too!). And girls start growing taller, stronger and developing curves, and the hormones start and regulate a menstrual cycle.

Hormones affect our emotions and moods. Sometimes we'll feel moody and unfriendly for no particular reason and at other times we might feel on top of the world. They can also affect the way we think about things and we can start to think about the opposite sex. This is to be expected as our body, mind and spirit adjusts to all the changes taking place. Even though it might not feel like it at times, it's a perfectly natural process we're going through.

Because we start at different times, our friends can change. Old friends might become strangers or we can feel like hanging out with someone new. We might feel like we've got no friends for a little while. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with us, it just means we're changing at different times. What helps is accepting ourselves, others, and situations, as they are, and having a sense of humour about things. Remember kindness really counts. Some people have got it tough, and one smile or one kind word from you – you might never know the difference you make just by being kind.

Change can be turbulent but it can also be exhilarating. I found out that it doesn't matter when we start this journey. What matters is what we do with our journey. It's a bit like we're young trees…. as a young tree our trunk still needs support, our branches are delicate and easily broken, and our root system needs nutrients and frequent watering to grow. We can't grow fruit yet because we're not strong enough to hold it – we need nurturing and support to grow to full maturity and then the fruit will begin to grow (some people are “fruitier” than others!).

Putting drugs or alcohol into our system at this stage can be a really risky idea as our brain is still developing through its final stage. It's making connections that will train us to have the crucial ability to reason and judge and cope emotionally in situations. Drug and alcohol abuse alters the natural functioning of a brain and can interrupt this final stage of our brain development in turn affecting the man or woman we become at the end of the journey. Take it from me… this is a good time for us to focus on growing up, rather than pretending to be grown up. This journey is about growth, not just into adulthood, but into becoming the kind of man or woman we want to be.

Remember you're not alone in this journey… my journey to adulthood is nearing the end, but your school mates will be experiencing the same thoughts and feelings as they go through the journey too. If you are feeling worried about anything, it doesn't help to keep things to yourself. Talk to someone you can trust and who has ‘been there' – a parent, an aunt, anyone who springs to mind, who is wise and trustworthy, because once you share your concerns with them, the problem doesn't feel as bad. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional!

 

"The onset of puberty is not always easy to spot. Some of the clues are very subtle. A useful signal, however, is the overwhelming urge to look up words like COITUS, GONADS, and ORGASM in the dictionary. Children find these definitions easy to locate, as most school dictionaries spring open automatically at the required pages – probably because 25 years earlier their parents were looking up the same words." Tom Scott & Trevor Grice, The Great Brain Robbery